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Sunday, April 01, 2007Google Goes Down the Toilet with Wireless Broadband; Users Report Visits from Cartman, Disappearing Mooninites and mini-Shreks
 Offering a free broadband service called TiSP, Google says that by lowering a wireless Google-made router into a toilet, users can link their computers' to fiber-optic nodes through existing sewer pipes.While most pre-odor customers have experienced problems with configuring the device, others are reporting some strange incidents. There are at least 13 reports of the devices themselves coming back up through their toilets transformed as mooninites and various characters from the popular hit TV show South Park, most particularly the intrepid and vulgar Cartman.  "Respect my authoritaaahhhh, you piece of S*IT!, screw you!" Cartman was quoted as telling a Los Angeles Google TiSP subscriber Willy Nilly. Nilly received his new device today from UPS as a pre-odor. "Hey!!! Flush me back down before I kick your ass," Cartman told Nilly shortly before the L.A. doughnut baker pushed him back down into the toilet and flushed. As Cartman was being flushed down he could be heard screaming: "TiSP, my ass! Timmmieeeeee!!! Tim-mahhheee, Timmah!!" At press time, there are no confirmed reports as to the whereabouts of other mooninites and South Park characters.  The producers of South Park expect that on Monday people will be asking: "Who killed Kenny?" So far, there are no reported sightings of Kenny, and his current whereabouts are unknown. Rosie O'Donnell, the new and controversial spokesperson for Comedy Central's parent company Viacom, said: "We don't know were the f*ck Kenny nor Cartman are right now, blah, blah, blah. "I wouldn't be surprised if they have been taken by Donald Trump's security detail to some undisclosed location outside the United States. The Bush administration, I'm telling you, is behind this, just like they are behind every other criminal and covert conspiracy you can think of." (Last week the constently constipated and moronic tycoon Donald Trump, watched in horror, along with millions of viewers worldwide, as his hair piece blew off his head during a windy, outdoor press conference for the ground-breaking of a new Trump Towers edition. Trump ran off camera chasing his hair piece down 5th Avenue.) There have been scattered reports from some TiSP users who claim that after "installing" the router, mini-Shreks and mooninites were jumping out their toilets and vanishing in thin air. Google executives said they will hold a press conference tomorrow to brief the public on the devices that appear to be attracting strange characters into subscribers' toilets. But one Google source that wished to remain anonymous said: "We never really thought that characters from South Park and various mooninites would be attracted to the devices, but there were some engineers who hinted that this could be a problem." Labels: Comedy Channel, Google, Google April Fool's 2007, Google April Fool's Day, Google Hoaxes, Google Logos, Google Pranks, Humor, South Park, TisP, Website Pranks Subscribe to the Monkey Feed with your favorite service: 
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